Celiac Goes Back to School: Some BTS Tips and Tricks for Parents of Celiac KIds
To kick off my back-to-school series, I wanted to underline some methods my parents employed to make my own glutenless school days flow a little smoother. Let me know if you have a response to any of the advice below!
1. Explain, in whatever language you feel is most appropriate for your child, the importance of staying gluten free while away from home. The more your child understands the why behind their diet, dirty (literally) facts included, the more likely they are to abide by it. Schools work pretty hard these days to make sure kids aren't sharing food at the lunch table, but monitoring as much becomes more or less impossible once those kindergartners are suddenly starting their first day of ninth grade. So, stressing different points will definitely be necessary based on your child's age. In high school, for example, the thought of being bloated and gassy in front of my crush was enough to send me sprinting away from Tupperware after Tupperware of slutty brownies (look them up); the sixteen-and-pregnant look won't, however, stop your seven year old from coming home in tears because her classmate's mom brought in cake pops.
Of course, I'm in no position to tell you what to tell your child. But, I will say, I always found honest conversations about my disease to be the most encouraging when trying to independently navigate the gluten-filled world as a little celiac. And, of course, an after-school field trip to MOM's never hurt. If you would like a few pointers on how to have these conversations with your child, I'll have a post out soon on the topic.
2. If possible, get the class birthday list from your child's teacher. This will give you an invaluable heads up as to when to throw a gluten free brownie or cupcake into the lunchbox, so your child isn't sitting forlornly as everyone else licks icing off their fingers. And, to that point, make a note of each classmate's birthday on your personal calendar. That piece of paper does no good if it sits in your filing cabinet until June.
I remember one year my teacher wouldn't give my parents the birthday list, as she felt it was an invasion of other students' privacy to be handing out that information. If you run into a similar issue, take it upon yourself to email, call or text the class parents to ask for the birthdays, letting them know your child has celiac. It may also be helpful to reach out prior to each birthday and see if parents plan on sending their kid off with a plate of glutenous pastry. This way you'll know for sure whether or not to pack a gluten-less one in your student's lunchbox. And, even if the classmate ends up not bring anything in, your kid will still get to enjoy a pretty nice dessert.
3. Get in contact with the school's cafeteria staff, administrators, or even county personnel regarding safe options for your child. Look, I get it- not every parent has the ability to send their kid off to school with a lunch box chock-full of edamame and gluten free turkey sandwiches. I think there's a propensity in the world of free-from blogging to unconsciously assume that everyone can shell out a few hours a week for meal prep. The reality is, plenty of kids get their first and/ or second meal of the day from the school cafeteria. Even if your student usually does bring lunch from home, there may be those days where that brown paper bag/ bento box/ triple-tiered Minions cooler just doesn't make it into the cafeteria.
If this is the case for your child, make sure to contact whichever party is responsible for meal times in your school, district or county. Make it clear that your child is on a medically restricted diet, and must eat gluten free. Discuss their 504 Plan- you can learn more about that here. Be prepared to answer some of those questions ("Well, what about if we just took the bread off his sandwich?"), provide resources, and even pay the lunch ladies a visit. The bottom line is, the more upfront you are on this end, the less of a chance there is (hopefully) that your student will pick up a tray of gluten-loaded spaghetti and scrape the meat sauce off. But, that's a story for another time.
And remember- they don't ever need to know you spent four hours on the phone with the superintendent going through the next twelve years' worth of school menus. I mean, parents are already lame enough, right?
4. If your child will be bringing lunch to school, excuse my French, but make that thing kick-ass. Please understand, this is coming from someone who grew up getting teased because her corn thin sandwiches had disintegrated into a mustardy slop by the time lunch rolled around. If your child is excitedly digging into his veggie pasta or banana-and-dark chocolate PB-sandwich every noontime, he's less likely to be tempted by his friend's Cosmic Brownie. Even if you don't have the time every morning to magically transform into the GF Barefoot Contessa, a favorite snack or dessert can really go a long way.
Also, I must admit, those Cosmic Brownies do still fascinate me. Through what magic do they endlessly seem to hold their perfect rectangular form? And is it just me, or are the mini chocolate chips arranged in the same pattern every time? Weird.
5. Set aside time each weekend to grocery shop and meal prep. This goes hand-in-hand with number three. I think involving kids when it comes to choosing the foods with which they are fueling their bodies is important all-around. I especially, however, think this is important when your child is on a medically restricted diet. No matter how much you try to normalize living G-free at home, they will inevitably be bombarded with dietary limitations once they step out the front door. For a kid who thus feels like free choice is not always an option, encouraging agency where it is possible is a huge plus. Have your child help you plan, shop for and prepare the week's meals, guiding them in a way that meets both their needs and preferences.
6. Talk with your child about how to explain their dietary needs to their peers. Kids learn pretty early on the importance of food as a method of socialization. Case-in-point: have you ever stepped into a middle school cafeteria at 12:30 and tried holding a reasonably-toned conversation? That room has the deafening capacity of a sonic boom. Depending on your kid's age/ gender/ friend group, or simply because they are different, there is a possibility they will receive some comment from someone asking something about why they always bring "xyz" for lunch. Be honest with your child about the possibility of this happening, and discuss whatever way in which they're most comfortable to respond. A few possibilities include:
-Ignoring it, and/or telling a teacher or other trusted adult.
-Explaining, matter-of-factly, that they have celiac disease, and need to eat gluten free to stay healthy. Or alive. Whichever works.
-Putting on vampire makeup and chugging an entire case of La Croix before coming to school, then spending the entire day next to the offending commentator as they moan every few minutes how this is "only from cooking with a cross-contaminated pot."
-Outwardly feigning excessive sympathy for the little punk that they have nothing better to do than comment on what other people are eating.
-Gloating as they loudly enjoy an entire roll of Goodie Girl Mint Slims.
7. Make sure the non-GF siblings don't feel excluded amidst all this prep and process. I personally don't advocate for making the non-GF siblings go gluten free; having worked my way through a pretty rough eating disorder, I think this encourages restriction where it is absolutely not necessary. Just like you do with your celiac/ gluten intolerant child, make to get brothers and sisters involved in their own meal planning. Encourage them to choose foods they like, and explore new foods they've yet to try. Having watched my parents go through this with my own brother, I understand it can be a tricky balance. It is thus another topic I plan on addressing in it's own post.
7. Encourage your child to get involved with, or even start, a gluten free youth group. I've found advocacy and socialization to be two of the most powerful tools in my celiac toolbox over the years, and both can be found in support groups. Help your child research local age-appropriate meetups in the area. If there are none, encourage them to start one on their own! These are such amazing resources for kids, who may otherwise find themselves feeling isolated because of their disease, to meet other kids going through the same things. These support groups often organize restaurant outings, group meals, cooking classes and more, and are thus a great way to promote confidence when dealing with a restricted diet. Check out GIG's Generation GF as a starting point.
8. Understand this may be really, really tough for your kid- and, for that matter, you. My parents bent over backwards trying to make sure I had as much confidence surrounding food as was possible in the early 2000's. In fact, I'm not entirely sure "backwards" covers it- they twisted themselves into knots. At the end of the day, however, they were only human- as are you. Your child will probably be left out of class birthdays and grade-wide pizza parties, will potentially get teased about their "weird Oreo's," and will likely have to answer uncomfortable questions from people who simply don't understand their illness. Encourage your child to be honest about these issues when they come up, and validate whatever hurt, anger or confusion that ensues. Understand I am being 1000 percent sincere when I say, there is no shame in having your child speak with a therapist about these things, nor is there shame in doing the same for yourself. I certainly wish I'd gotten into therapy earlier to discuss my own relationship with food. Sure, the resources and boxes of celiac-safe cookies seem omnipresent these days. But it's always OK to reach out if you think your family needs extra support in dealing with the roller-coaster ride of a GF lifestyle.
And, of course, a few Canyon Bakehouse Brownie Bites after school never hurt anyone.
Keep an eye out for more back-to-school posts over the next few weeks! I'll have more tips, stories and even a handful of meal and snack ideas.
Until then, I leave you with this- my dog actually did, one time, eat my brother's homework. Yeah, he had his challenges. The dog. And my brother.
Peace, love and gluten free donuts,
Natalia
1. Explain, in whatever language you feel is most appropriate for your child, the importance of staying gluten free while away from home. The more your child understands the why behind their diet, dirty (literally) facts included, the more likely they are to abide by it. Schools work pretty hard these days to make sure kids aren't sharing food at the lunch table, but monitoring as much becomes more or less impossible once those kindergartners are suddenly starting their first day of ninth grade. So, stressing different points will definitely be necessary based on your child's age. In high school, for example, the thought of being bloated and gassy in front of my crush was enough to send me sprinting away from Tupperware after Tupperware of slutty brownies (look them up); the sixteen-and-pregnant look won't, however, stop your seven year old from coming home in tears because her classmate's mom brought in cake pops.
Of course, I'm in no position to tell you what to tell your child. But, I will say, I always found honest conversations about my disease to be the most encouraging when trying to independently navigate the gluten-filled world as a little celiac. And, of course, an after-school field trip to MOM's never hurt. If you would like a few pointers on how to have these conversations with your child, I'll have a post out soon on the topic.
2. If possible, get the class birthday list from your child's teacher. This will give you an invaluable heads up as to when to throw a gluten free brownie or cupcake into the lunchbox, so your child isn't sitting forlornly as everyone else licks icing off their fingers. And, to that point, make a note of each classmate's birthday on your personal calendar. That piece of paper does no good if it sits in your filing cabinet until June.
I remember one year my teacher wouldn't give my parents the birthday list, as she felt it was an invasion of other students' privacy to be handing out that information. If you run into a similar issue, take it upon yourself to email, call or text the class parents to ask for the birthdays, letting them know your child has celiac. It may also be helpful to reach out prior to each birthday and see if parents plan on sending their kid off with a plate of glutenous pastry. This way you'll know for sure whether or not to pack a gluten-less one in your student's lunchbox. And, even if the classmate ends up not bring anything in, your kid will still get to enjoy a pretty nice dessert.
3. Get in contact with the school's cafeteria staff, administrators, or even county personnel regarding safe options for your child. Look, I get it- not every parent has the ability to send their kid off to school with a lunch box chock-full of edamame and gluten free turkey sandwiches. I think there's a propensity in the world of free-from blogging to unconsciously assume that everyone can shell out a few hours a week for meal prep. The reality is, plenty of kids get their first and/ or second meal of the day from the school cafeteria. Even if your student usually does bring lunch from home, there may be those days where that brown paper bag/ bento box/ triple-tiered Minions cooler just doesn't make it into the cafeteria.
If this is the case for your child, make sure to contact whichever party is responsible for meal times in your school, district or county. Make it clear that your child is on a medically restricted diet, and must eat gluten free. Discuss their 504 Plan- you can learn more about that here. Be prepared to answer some of those questions ("Well, what about if we just took the bread off his sandwich?"), provide resources, and even pay the lunch ladies a visit. The bottom line is, the more upfront you are on this end, the less of a chance there is (hopefully) that your student will pick up a tray of gluten-loaded spaghetti and scrape the meat sauce off. But, that's a story for another time.
And remember- they don't ever need to know you spent four hours on the phone with the superintendent going through the next twelve years' worth of school menus. I mean, parents are already lame enough, right?
4. If your child will be bringing lunch to school, excuse my French, but make that thing kick-ass. Please understand, this is coming from someone who grew up getting teased because her corn thin sandwiches had disintegrated into a mustardy slop by the time lunch rolled around. If your child is excitedly digging into his veggie pasta or banana-and-dark chocolate PB-sandwich every noontime, he's less likely to be tempted by his friend's Cosmic Brownie. Even if you don't have the time every morning to magically transform into the GF Barefoot Contessa, a favorite snack or dessert can really go a long way.
Also, I must admit, those Cosmic Brownies do still fascinate me. Through what magic do they endlessly seem to hold their perfect rectangular form? And is it just me, or are the mini chocolate chips arranged in the same pattern every time? Weird.
5. Set aside time each weekend to grocery shop and meal prep. This goes hand-in-hand with number three. I think involving kids when it comes to choosing the foods with which they are fueling their bodies is important all-around. I especially, however, think this is important when your child is on a medically restricted diet. No matter how much you try to normalize living G-free at home, they will inevitably be bombarded with dietary limitations once they step out the front door. For a kid who thus feels like free choice is not always an option, encouraging agency where it is possible is a huge plus. Have your child help you plan, shop for and prepare the week's meals, guiding them in a way that meets both their needs and preferences.
6. Talk with your child about how to explain their dietary needs to their peers. Kids learn pretty early on the importance of food as a method of socialization. Case-in-point: have you ever stepped into a middle school cafeteria at 12:30 and tried holding a reasonably-toned conversation? That room has the deafening capacity of a sonic boom. Depending on your kid's age/ gender/ friend group, or simply because they are different, there is a possibility they will receive some comment from someone asking something about why they always bring "xyz" for lunch. Be honest with your child about the possibility of this happening, and discuss whatever way in which they're most comfortable to respond. A few possibilities include:
-Ignoring it, and/or telling a teacher or other trusted adult.
-Explaining, matter-of-factly, that they have celiac disease, and need to eat gluten free to stay healthy. Or alive. Whichever works.
-Putting on vampire makeup and chugging an entire case of La Croix before coming to school, then spending the entire day next to the offending commentator as they moan every few minutes how this is "only from cooking with a cross-contaminated pot."
-Outwardly feigning excessive sympathy for the little punk that they have nothing better to do than comment on what other people are eating.
-Gloating as they loudly enjoy an entire roll of Goodie Girl Mint Slims.
7. Make sure the non-GF siblings don't feel excluded amidst all this prep and process. I personally don't advocate for making the non-GF siblings go gluten free; having worked my way through a pretty rough eating disorder, I think this encourages restriction where it is absolutely not necessary. Just like you do with your celiac/ gluten intolerant child, make to get brothers and sisters involved in their own meal planning. Encourage them to choose foods they like, and explore new foods they've yet to try. Having watched my parents go through this with my own brother, I understand it can be a tricky balance. It is thus another topic I plan on addressing in it's own post.
7. Encourage your child to get involved with, or even start, a gluten free youth group. I've found advocacy and socialization to be two of the most powerful tools in my celiac toolbox over the years, and both can be found in support groups. Help your child research local age-appropriate meetups in the area. If there are none, encourage them to start one on their own! These are such amazing resources for kids, who may otherwise find themselves feeling isolated because of their disease, to meet other kids going through the same things. These support groups often organize restaurant outings, group meals, cooking classes and more, and are thus a great way to promote confidence when dealing with a restricted diet. Check out GIG's Generation GF as a starting point.
8. Understand this may be really, really tough for your kid- and, for that matter, you. My parents bent over backwards trying to make sure I had as much confidence surrounding food as was possible in the early 2000's. In fact, I'm not entirely sure "backwards" covers it- they twisted themselves into knots. At the end of the day, however, they were only human- as are you. Your child will probably be left out of class birthdays and grade-wide pizza parties, will potentially get teased about their "weird Oreo's," and will likely have to answer uncomfortable questions from people who simply don't understand their illness. Encourage your child to be honest about these issues when they come up, and validate whatever hurt, anger or confusion that ensues. Understand I am being 1000 percent sincere when I say, there is no shame in having your child speak with a therapist about these things, nor is there shame in doing the same for yourself. I certainly wish I'd gotten into therapy earlier to discuss my own relationship with food. Sure, the resources and boxes of celiac-safe cookies seem omnipresent these days. But it's always OK to reach out if you think your family needs extra support in dealing with the roller-coaster ride of a GF lifestyle.
And, of course, a few Canyon Bakehouse Brownie Bites after school never hurt anyone.
Keep an eye out for more back-to-school posts over the next few weeks! I'll have more tips, stories and even a handful of meal and snack ideas.
Until then, I leave you with this- my dog actually did, one time, eat my brother's homework. Yeah, he had his challenges. The dog. And my brother.
Peace, love and gluten free donuts,
Natalia
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